Gastroparesis Sucks.

My gastroparesis is acting up a week now. Maybe a little longer, I just didn't realize the signs. I wish I loved protein shakes. I wish diet coke was nutritious. Lol  Suddenly, one meal, I ate my normal sized portion and I couldn't finish it.  I only eat twice a day and I am pretty routine with what I eat.  Normally, my belly empties pretty fast and leaves me nice and flat!  But not that day and not since. I eat and it just sits there. "What is gastroparesis?", you are probably wondering!  Normally peristalsis pushes the food down through your GI tract.  Like little contractions or waves. Sometimes, that doesn't happen.  They say that the stomach is paralyzed, but it may be just slow, like mine.

To sum it up, the food I eat, just sits in my belly and rots. It's been just sitting there, overfull since dinner last night. When food starts to break down it creates gas and because it's in my belly, I feel bloated and full.  I have practice again tonight, so I can't eat much until it goes down.  And since it's beyond annoying (it hurts and increases anxiety) to skate like that I just have to wait it out and time my meals around practice. Normally, I just need to limit what I eat a few hours prior to practice. I can't have water or food just before, or during, or I risk (and have!) aspiration of that fluid/food into my lungs. If there is a bunch of water in my belly, then exertion will put pressure that forces it back up my esophagus. Which is pretty grody.  It's good that I'm keto-adapted, but, if this happens too often, even my fat stores won't help me.

 Keto-adapted means that I burn fat primarily and use ketone bodies for energy instead of sugar (glucose). I have lots of fat, so I can use that up and still feel up to activities. Since I workout and do all my practices fasted already, it doesn't affect my performance. Luckily, it's only been a couple times a year so far that this happens. Lets hope this is short lived. 

You DO Have the Motivation You Need.

I recently posted on my FaceBook page that I lost 80 lbs.  I've been posting every pound I lost since I started on this journey in 2015. I'm proud of myself. I still have a little bit to go, but largely I am happy about how I look and feel at this weight. 

I get a lot people who message me or post on my page saying that, "I wish I had your motivation" or "If only I had 1/2 your resolve." or "I just don't think I could do it."  Well, I'm going to tell you that you DO and CAN do whatever you put your mind to.  Sounds simple.  But there is so much more to it than that.

At some point, I started putting this first in my life.  Meaning, I wanted to get healthier and I worked to find a way to make it happen.  I work at it almost every single day.  I worked at it until it was habit to eat this way.  I read, I studied, I experimented, I tracked, I sweated, I took pictures.  It's been my job.  And I'm lucky, at this point my only other job is to help support my family, by being present in their lives.  My husband works.  I work seasonally.  And I help guide my kids with homeschool. 

But that's me. 

Maybe you want to get fit.  It's on your list of "things to accomplish before I turn 45".  But really, what else is on that list?  Are you working really hard at your job trying to better able to support your family?  Are you trying to go to, or get into a tough school program?  Do you have a bunch of little kids that leave you mentally and physically spent at the end of the day?  Are those your priorities?  Where does fitness fit in?  For years, I said "I wanted to be skinny".  But it took about 15 years for me to get to the point where I finally had that priority at the top of my list.  And that's OK!  It's a matter of working at the list.  Maybe you don't get everything on the list done now.  Maybe there is stuff that much more important on the list for you for right now.  Just do what you can!  You don't need to be actively successful at all the things at the same time.  When I was in nursing school, it was all I could do to get up in the AM and go to school.  My scrubs were too tight, and I wasn't happy about it, but my top priority wasn't to fit into my scrubs, it was to NOT DROP out school.  So I made that happen.  Winning. 

Now, if you do have weight loss, or building muscle on your list, but you are really stressed for time, I would recommend maybe reading about it, or join a FaceBook group so that thing you want comes up in your feed, or you are learning about it.  Plant seeds in your brain and get psyched up for when the time is right!  Maybe make a few changes in your lifestyle that are a small step in the direction you want to go.  You want to cut out sugar?  Change a habit that goes hand in hand with that.  For instance. Never buy stuff in bulk packages.  Decide that you are going to either make it from scratch or you will drive to the store to buy a single pack of whatever it is.  Make it a bother.   Honestly, I still do that, with stupid "healthy" things, like nuts.  I can't be trusted with a bulk package.  So I just stopped doing it. 

If something isn't a priority to you even in 10 years time, really look at what HAS been a priority.  Have you been sitting around wishing things would happen, or have you been only able to put in a little bit of time at the gym and been raising your kids til they were off to college?  Only you can decide what is a priority and you shouldn't feel bad about choosing your kids. 

Just keep moving forward!!!!  Eventually, you will get there!