Practice is for Practice.

A few months ago, I went to another skater and expressed concern that I was "holding others back" during some practices.  I was told to "keep trying, practice is for practice".

I thought about it, and that's totally true.  It's not just practice for your individual skills, it is practice for everyone, both individually and as a team.  So when I skate with a newer skater or someone I wouldn't prefer to skate with, I try to keep that in mind, and give feed back while we are doing a drill or whatever that helps them be a better skater.  And sometimes, it feels like it is at the expense of my own personal practice time.  But it isn't.  It is Anja getting to practice being a teammate and leader.  And I absolutely get out of it, what I put into it.

Every time you help a less experienced or someone who has trouble with a particular skill you are good at better their skills, you bring the whole team up.  It makes you look BETTER on the track.  Every time you make someone feel comfortable being able to practice up to their best ability, you win, they win.  We win as a team. And the opposite can be true.  Every time you decide that you don't like that person for whatever perceived or actual issue you have, and let that affect your attitude on the track, you, them and the team all lose for a second.

I've been really lucky that I have gotten feedback and encouragement and help from really great skaters, and honestly, I've gotten really great advice from skaters who are less experienced or don't really even like me.  I appreciate all of it.  Because if I am a better skater and teammate, then our practices are even better/harder because I am a better opponent during practice, which will in turn make everyone better skaters. When my teammates are better skaters, it helps make me work harder to be a better skater.  We are all connected.  Because it's a team.  We don't win games because our jammers know how to break down their own teammate's walls. We will win games when we teach our blockers how to stop us and we have to think differently.  We do this by learning as a team. 

Our individual skills on the track matter.  But derby is a team sport.  Our team skates at least twice a week for 2 hours, more if you are travel 11 months out of the year.  At a minimum you have roughly 192 HOURS of practice time.  If you are having trouble taking a two minute jam with a skater you don't like, or you feel isn't worth your practice time on a 15 minute drill, or whatever, the problem isn't them.  It's you.

Because practice, is for practice.

They are Always Watching.

I didn't make the B team.  For clarification, I am eligible, but my peers didn't choose me.  While I whined for a bit, and have worried since, the only "w" word, I should focus on here is "work".  So that's that.

Anya getting through the pack with Tampa Jr. Derby. 

I spent an afternoon, a few days later, with my daughter.  She also plays derby.  When I put myself down, she immediately tried to make me feel better.  Because that's the type of kid she is.  Taking that into consideration... She wants to be like me and she isn't going to want to keep working in that direction if I keep labeling myself as "A Loser" every time I make a mistake or feel like I had a poor practice, she is watching and listening.  If she makes those same mistakes, she is learning that she is also, "a loser".

That's the very last thing I want.  I don't even want her to aspire to me like me.  I want her to want MORE and it would be really hard for her to hit HER personal highest potential if I show her that I lack self-worth in the most important person.  Myself.  At some point she may think...'I can't [rap Slick Rick's Bedtime Story] as well as my mom, so I must suck at it, why bother trying'.  When really, it is just a lack of experience, or knowledge in how to do something. I want her to see that I have a passion to succeed and meet my personal goals.  I don't suck.  I just need to work harder to get where I want to be.  Perhaps, I won't meet every goal, but I try my damnedest to make it happen. I want her to see that.  In order for that to happen, I need to stop highlighting to her, to everyone and to myself, all the things I can't do.  I mean, why say, it?  We all know what we can't do. 

The draft for home teams is this week.  I can't say that I am not anxious about it.  I totally am.  I was passed by before, and passed by for the B team.  But you know what?  I would make a great addition to any of the teams there.  And if they don't see that, well, It won't stop me from shining and doing my best.  Because I am someone who doesn't give up on their dreams.

I hope my kids can see that.  And if they don't.  I need to change my behavior so they do.  I have that power.