Changing My Thought Process in the Game

Recently, I was sitting on the bench, waiting for the next jam, and I got this panicked feeling.  In my head, I was thinking to myself, "I should sit this one out, I will never measure up to the awesome girls I am skating with.  I shouldn't even be on the same track as them".   The second the thoughts popped up, I was like, "What the hell is wrong with me?"  And I have to wonder, where does that shit come from?  It's probably a lot of habit.  It's probably some influence from other sources, my childhood, or bad experiences with peers, etc.  But it is totally up to me to stop that type of thinking.

A few days later at practice, I was telling another skater, how I beat myself up each time the jammer goes by me in a game.  As I am saying it aloud and thinking how silly it is, I also start to point out other things... like the fact that the jammer goes by nearly everyone on the track.  It's the nature of the game.  Sometimes the jammer is just awesome.  Sometimes, your effort or sight is focused elsewhere.      But it seems silly to blame myself, since there are 3 other blockers on the track.  They are all just as responsible as I am.  We are working together as a team.  Or we should be!  I can't possibly be solely responsible for the jammer each time she makes it around the track.  

Then shortly after that, I was waiting my turn for a drill.  My turn to play the jammer.  I am up against 3 opposing blockers.  Great!  I skate up to the wall.  I bust through them.  And then attempt to skate as hard as I can to get 20 feet out.  Now, I am not great at part of this.  I am pretty good at busting up a wall, and getting in front, but I am not so good at maintaining speed or picking up speed when being chased!  

I kicked my imaginary puppy (named, ES, for self-esteem. I know, it's backwards) all the way home.  ES took quite the beating.  Later that night I logged into my online account and started reading a blog post from Active Happiness.  The 3rd point they made was  you don't have to be good at everything.  You don't have to spend all your time focused on getting better at what you can't do.  Totally right, and perfectly timed. It is sometimes more helpful to focus on your strengths, to MINIMIZE your weaknesses.  

So if I reframe my practice, I can say that I went in and I busted up that wall, and I got out in front.  Those are all GREAT things!  In fact, my job as a blocker NEEDS those things.  It would be helpful to burst into the front and into the opposing jammer if necessary, but right now, I can focus on that I can get through them, and bust them up.  And the more efficiently I can do it, the better I can help my own jammer get through!  This doesn't mean that I don't give my all when preforming the drill.   I will continue to try to race away from the opposing team, and get 20 feet out.  Hell, sometimes I even make it.  I am happy that I have teammates that provide a challenge and allow us to work on developing those skills.   But I am pretty happy with what I can do.  Yay me!  

ES prefers me to feel good about myself, and what I can do.  My friends prefer that side of me, too.  And it is the best example to give the kids.  So I continue that challenge.  Maybe someday it won't be much of challenge.  But right now, it is an every day thing.  I am happy that I am providing myself with resources to work on ES.  I deserve it.  And so do you.  Have a great day!! 

XOXO,

Anja