Taking on Uneccessary Crap.

So lately, I have been giving a few things some thought.  I noticed that while I long to have lots of people like me and want to spend time with me, or even just how I feel like I want to be included, I watch people in the inner circles of things and realize that they don't look happy there.  I know when I was in the circle, I wasn't either.  I am much happier where I am now.

Two months ago, we attended the Bonnie D. Stroir Clinic with A2D2 and while she had a lot to share on the track, she had a lot to say, too.  One of the things she talked about was not watching the jams you aren't in during a game.  This is what I always did, until one day, I didn't and started watching.  She suggested that not watching helps you keep your energy, so you aren't sucked into it, by another player"s bad jam.  Basically, you go to your zen place while on the bench. (Not if you are in the box, then you need to pay attention) and when your teammates get off the floor, you tell them they did a good job, regardless of the outcome.  I really liked this idea, and could see the benefit, I have been sharing it with everyone I played with since.

Today, I read an article in Scrubs Magazine. The article is called, "Are You Out of Control?"  By Elizabeth Farrell.  Interestingly, the article mentions something about this.  Say your kid gets a shot.  You FEEL the shot yourself.  That is "empathy pain" that we all have experienced at one time or another.  She said that it's "mirror neurons registering the pain".  To extend all this further, you can look at drama or gossip that you have had to deal with, and realize that it also "sucks the life out of you".  I think it is much the same thing.  I know that if I have to deal with a friend that tends to draw that kind of "excitement" I feel at times as if I am emotionally going through it too.  It is physically and mentally draining.  There are a couple of things you can do about this.  Like in the game, you need to mentally zone out, get out of there and literally think happy thoughts.  I think we would all benefit if we could just learn to meditate every day, when it is quiet and then when things are crazy, you will have a better grasp on finding that peace for a few minutes.

I know that this is what helps me, especially the last year.  Of course, identifying those toxic personalities helps, because you can prepare to not let it get to you.  You don't have to get rid of them as friends, and sometimes with teammates or co-workers you don't have a choice.  But you have control over how you react to the situation.

Hugs and Bruises. :) 

Use the Good China

I got married on Friday.  A "simple" backyard wedding.  HA!  Simple my ass. But, it didn't rain, it was hot, but not 100 degrees and it was nearly perfect, or so everyone thought.  We forgot to put out our thumbprint tree that Bud spent hours hand drawing so people could put their thumbprints on and I was planning on framing it.  Still trying to figure out how to drive around and have everyone leave their mark on it.  LOL 

We were surrounded by family and friends and I was bound to my best friend.  I guess you can't get more perfect than that. 

While shopping for this wedding, one detail we had was to buy china from thrift stores and use that as our plates (instead of paper).  It worked out really nice.  But finding all this stuff had me realizing that the good china I found for a song... the same stuff you get in your weddings, people spend hundreds on these place settings, and NEVER use it.  EVER.  Someone somewhere, maybe your grandmother, got this stuff and then left it in the china cabinet.  While I am happy to pick it up unused at a great price, I can look at it and feel like, "this is beautiful, I want to show it off somewhere" and of course, I don't want it to get broken!  I also look at the used stuff with lots of wear and think, "someone loved this."  It's still beautiful with all the wear. 

I feel as if it is like life.  A lot of people are afraid to take chances.  Afraid to love and get hurt, afraid to get involved with derby, afraid of failing at anything they really want to try.   They spend their days wishing it would all fall together, that some day something wonderful will happen and they will feel "right"... or like with the china, a special excuse to use it. 

So use the good china.  Use the good towels.  Use all your gifts.  Take chances.  You are worth a lot.  Don't spend your life up in a china cabinet or end up getting sold at the Salvation Army unused.