The last few weeks, I have been trying to decide what to do at work. I love the unit I am on. Scheduling works well with derby, and I love the people I work with. My manager is the bomb. My issue is that I feel like I need to be doing more to learn more. So I started considering a move to another unit that had patients that had a higher acuity.
Anyone who knows me well, knows that I have severe anxiety issues. I push myself past them regardless, but it doesn't keep me from the distracted, nervousness that goes along with anxiety. So making a change is something I really consider from all aspects prior to doing it. I decided to talk it out with a few of my co-workers that I trust. The one thing that was said that has stuck with me for the past few days was..."I think it's funny that you are worried about looking stupid, but you aren't worried about hurting someone." And yeah! That is totally right. I don't worry about hurting anyone, because I don't feel that I am unsafe in my practice. I do worry that someone will yell at me and then I will become flustered and won't stick up for myself, or give them the wrong verbal answer. I know that I have encountered other nurses or doctors that treat you like you are a moron, because you didn't know something, or because you did it a different way, or you missed something in your charting or whatever... but no one is perfect. Not me, not them. I can't just spend my life wishing that I was working in a more fulfilling position all because someone might tell me that I screwed up, or that I should have charted something I didn't. That would be stupid and a waste of my life and talent.
So I applied to another position. And if I don't get it, no harm, no foul. And if I do... I will be nervous, but I will be learning and challenging myself. And that matters to me more than someone calling me stupid.
Always pushing your limits.
ReplyDelete