ASS U ME

I realized the other day what a jerk I have been.

I assume that all the negative, horrible people I have ever met in my life are the people I am meeting that day, in just different bodies.  From the start, I assume the worst.  I am not going to put on some rose-colored glasses and say that everyone loves me or finds me amazing, because I am an optimist that doesn't eliminate all the negative choices, I just generally chose to play up the positive ones.  I see the negative and I know it's there.

But it isn't safe to assume that everyone feels the same way that a few shitty people I have met in my life, feel.  In fact, if people knew I was thinking that, why would they give me a chance at all?

When I see someone who is new skating, I don't assume they suck.  I just assume they need to work on things.  Or maybe that is the best of their ability today.  Kudos for them just getting their asses off the couch, it's hard to put yourself out there.  Why wouldn't I think that most people are more like me?  So when I need help with my skating skills, and people help me, instead of me feeling like I am being called out for being a shitty skater, I should know that they may just see potential or how I could do things better.  The same way that I would do for anyone else.

When I assume that people don't like me, I start acting as if people don't like me.  I appear closed off.  I put up a wall. And it's a pretty good fricking wall.  If there is one thing I do really freaking-all-balls-out-amazing, it's put up a wall.  No one wants to be hurt.  I am no stranger to that feeling.  But I have been through the worst of shit and I have come out on top, where the air is fresh and life is beautiful.

Every time I realize I am doing it, I try to address it.  And every time I do that, I get a little better at taking the wall down for longer.

"let feel one more time, what it feels like to feel and break these calluses off of me, one more time... "  Someday, I will get it.

In the meantime, don't make assumptions about people.  I got something in my email from "the universe".  Telling me to treat everyone as if they are as brilliant as I am.  Because quite honestly, in some way, they are.  We all are. 

Be shiny!

XOXO
Anja